korrektur bitte.. =) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 19:55 Di 18.12.2007 | | Autor: | airam111 |
wenn mir das jemand verbessern könnte wärs super!
My Christmas day
Every my family and I celebrate Christmas at home. In the morning, after Ive stood up, I usually wrap my Christmas presents. For lunch we eat normal things like on the other days. First thing after lunch we visit my aunt, then my grandparents and after that my other aunt. There we are meeting our relatives and we eat cookies. Then we go to the cemetery. Afterwards we drive home. Usually around seven oclock my mum, my older sister and my younger brother go upstairs in my or my sisters room. In the living room my dad lights the candles of the Christmas tree. Shortly after he strikes a small bell and shouts The Christ Child was here!, because my little brother still believes in the Christ Child. Then we go downstairs and unwrap the presents. After that we are having dinner. We usually eat a fish with noodles or something like that. Some time ago we used to eat sausages but after eating sausages for Christmas every year we were fed up of them. So we began to eat other dinners. Afterwards my other grandparents we havent visited in the afternoon visit us. With them we go to church. In this way I celebrate Christmas.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 12:45 Mi 19.12.2007 | | Autor: | Eliss |
ich würde mal statt:
we are meeting our relatives
we meet our relatives schreiben
Shortly after
Shortly after that
we are having dinner
we have dinner
Also ich würd alles ohne Progressive bzw. Verlaufsform machen. Mehr weiß ich leider zurzeit auch nicht.
Vielleicht meld ich mich nochmal!
eliss
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My Christmas day
Every year I celebrate Christmas with my family at home. In the morning (welcher Morgen? Nach Weihnachten?), after I get up, I usually wrap (wrap heißt verpacken? Meinst du nicht eher auspacken?) my Christmas presents. For lunch, we eat normal things just like on every other day. The first thing we do after lunch is visiting my aunt, then we go to see my grandparents and after that we also meet my other aunt. At her home, we meet our relatives and we eat cookies. Then my family and I, we go to the cemetery, and afterwards we all drive back home. Around seven oclock my mum, my older sister and my younger brother usually go upstairs in my or my sisters room. In the living room my dad lights the candles of the Christmas tree. Shortly after he strikes a small bell and shouts The Christ Child (? weiß net ob das so heißt) was here!, because my little brother still believes in the Christ Child. Then we go downstairs and unwrap the presents. After that we are having dinner. We usually eat a fish with noodles or something like that. Some time ago we used to eat sausages but after eating sausages for Christmas every year we were fed up with them. So we began to eat other dinners. Afterwards my other grandparents we havent visited in the afternoon come to visit us. With them we go to church. This is the way I celebrate Christmas.
Hmm...du solltest aufpassen wie du deine Sätze beginnst. Du fängst nämlich immer gleich an, mit "Afterwards" und so weiter. Die Sätze sind auch etwas abgehackt, vielleicht kannst du versuchen 2 kurze mal zusammen zu packen oder so. Falsch is das ja alles nicht, nur stylistisch nicht so schön...;) Gegen Ende hab ich auch nicht mehr so genau korrigiert, da musste selbst schauen.
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(Korrektur) kleiner Fehler  | | Datum: | 22:31 Fr 28.12.2007 | | Autor: | Tyskie84 |
Hallo!
Ich hab deinen Text mal überflogen und da haben sich auch leider noch ein paar kleine fehler eingeschlichen. Ich schreib mal die sätzte richtig auf:
1. Then my familiy and I got to the cementery.....
2. We usually eat fish.....
3. With them we go to church.......
Auch du musst darauf schauen wie du deine Sätze beginnst. Stylistisch korrekt ist der korriegierte text auch nicht.
![[cap]](/images/smileys/cap.gif "[cap]") Gruß
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