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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - The American Dream
The American Dream < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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The American Dream: Korrektur
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 18:02 Mi 03.03.2010
Autor: Lila131

Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
Hallo!
Momentan schreibe ich in Englisch eine Facharbeit, leider ist meine Sprache nicht super gut, daher bin ich aus einen Korrekturleser angewiesen! *hoffe auf freundliche Unterstützung und das der Text nicht zu lang ist*

Bush begins his inauguration speech with the search of his audience. Just like many other presidents he thanks for the service of the previous president. At the beginning he cracks to the past and mentions a story, which stands for America.

This story is also linked to the American promise, the American Dream. Its meaning in the speech I'm going to show later. Alongside Topics like the unit, courage, responsibility and compassion Bush as well speaks about the current politic, schools, social security, Medicare and taxes. In his speech he uses a “smooth” language to appease so with the citizen, since he was the fourth president who won the election, but lost the folk election.

In the following I'm going to prove the references of the American Dream in the speech:

Bush begins his speech with the addressing of President Clinton,his citizen and with the rare “peaceful transfer of authority” (l.1). America becomes special since the transfer of authority here is peaceful (cp. 1). In connection to this transfer stands the American Dream, which is part “in a long story”(l.8) This story will be continued today. It tells “the story of a new world that became a friend and liberator of the old.”(l.9) Bush draws the attention to the regards of America's role rather than referring to the values of the Dream. America is here symbolized by “a new world”(l.9), which stands for strength and innovation. On top of that it becomes better than the old, Europa, maybe even more powerful. However Bush doesn't describe America only as a powerful force, but as a “friend and liberator”(l.10). America claims to be the protector of the poor ones and seems to be always right. In addition to these abilities it's able to change from a “ a slave-holding society” (l.10 sq) to a “ a servant of freedom” (l.11). Packed with this qualities America, “a power”(l.10), went into the world “ to protect not to posses”. Bush refers to Adams' opinion of America's role – America as a leader. It's their duty to “ defend but not conquer”(l.11). It seems quite important for Bush to have a close look on Americas' speciality. Through portraying Americas as a brilliant nation he wants to make his citizen feel proud and make them concern about America. To sympathises with the most part of the audience  Bush stresses that “ the flawed and fallible people”(l.11), not those who are perfect are united by the American Dream, represented by “enduring ideals”(l.13).
The American Dream is not just one of many ideals, it's the “grandest”(l.13).It's becoming more and more important. Bush choice of words to compare the Dream with a promise has the reason to bind people to it. Since it's a promise it has to be hold. This promise includes, that everyone belongs, that everyone deserve a chance and that no insignificant person ever was born. Bush intends to show people won't be born successful, it depends on hard work. These ideas are exactly those of the American Dream. Maybe he even wants them to work  harder than they do at the moment.

In Bush opinion it's the duty of the people to connect the Dream with their life and law. The Dream mutates from an ideal to a course of a whole nation. Over again Bush points out America's districtive feature. This time their faith and freedom is “ a seed upon the wind”(l.18), which is taking roots in many countries. In this part of the speech Bush only mentions the values of the American Dream- the democracy. Although the dream becomes an important basic of America some people “doubt the promise”(l.21), further more hinders hidden prejudice and circumstances of birth the people. These barriers  are what the Dream wants to change.
While before Bush declared the Dream to be an important part of Americas unity, he reduces the unity to the work of leaders and citizen. In contrast  Bush uses the values of the Dream “justice[,...]  opportunity”(l.27) in his solemn pledge. On the other hand he contradicts himself in line 28,  he said that the ideal is what leads them, but this time it is god who leads them. I think Bush only mentions God because many people are religious in America. In his point of view the meaning of being a citizen is based on the American dream ( cp.l 32), which makes the Dream a pillar of the state, moreover Bush justifies America with his ideals (cp. 34). Through this Bush tries to mobilizes the immigrants since the dream isn't inhibited, but an ideal everyone can belief after. According to Bush his inauguration speech plays an important role. “Today is the start of a new commitment”(l.37), a commitment to life after the  national promise, the American Dream: “civility, courage, compassion and character”(l.35sq). Like Adams' Bush doubts, that such a promise is easy to fulfil, it demands good will and respect from everyone. The result will be a civil society, like predicted in the dream . Why does Bush only mention the American dream through symbols ? Perhaps it's because of Americas special position, a dream is not something serious and through the synonyms it becomes serious.
Just this country is able to lead the course of freedom, otherwise “ it will not be lead”(l.41). Once again Bush uses the American Dream, here referring to Americas role, to show Americas' power. This power is not a given, the people have to keep it. It's the choice of the people to choose the “ example of our fathers”(l.49) or not. Even thought Bush gives the impression the Dream is most important, he lets them choose between inspiration and condemnation.

The Dream is the cause of Americas engaging and America “ will speak for the values that gave our nation birth” (l.60 sq) While the Dream was only used in connection with the citizen in the previous part of the speech now it's becoming  the reason of Americas development. After explaining very often the importance of the American Dream Bush once again announce to “ lead by these principles”(l.86) For the first time in his speech he addresses oneself personally to the citizen. He points out that all citizen have to work together. These citizen have “ seek a common good beyond your comfort”(l.89sq)

These citizen are special since they “ hold beliefs beyond ourselves” (l.94). These beliefs are the values of the American Dream, courage, social justice, equality of opportunities and “[t]his story goes on”(l.106).
Bush uses the American dream in his speech to portray Americas strength and specific role in the world. However that not everything. The Dream has the exercise to encourage people and bind them together. It is to remind the history and catch the attention of the listener.

Danke!!!!!


        
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The American Dream: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 20:30 Mi 03.03.2010
Autor: metalschulze

Hi Lila,

ich fang einfach mal an..

> Bush begins his inauguration speech with the search of his
> audience. Just like many other presidents he thanks for the
> service of the previous president. At the beginning he
> cracks to the past and mentions a story, which stands for
> America.
>  
> This story is also linked to the American promise, the
> American Dream. Its meaning in the speech I'm going to show
> later. Alongside Topics like the unit, courage,

the unit = die Einheit im Sinne von: ein (zusammenhängender) Teil, meinst du vielleicht unity?

> responsibility and compassion Bush as well speaks about the
> current politics, schools, social security, Medicare and
> taxes. In his speech he uses a “smooth” language to
> appease so with the citizens, since he was the fourth
> president who won the election, but lost the folk
> election.

Das würde ich irgendwie anders schreiben z.B. ....,but didn't get the majority.... oder so ähnlich

>  
> In the following I'm going to prove the references of to >the
> American Dream in the speech:
>  
> Bush begins his speech with the addressing of President
> Clinton,his citizens and with the rare “peaceful transfer

Das klingt irgendwie eigenartig. Vielleicht besser in 2 Sätzen?

> of authority” (l.1). America becomes special since the
> transfer of authority here is peaceful (cp. 1). In
> connection to this transfer stands the American Dream,
> which is part “in of a long story”(l.8) This story will be
> continued today. It tells “the story of a new world that
> became a friend and liberator of the old.”(l.9) Bush
> draws the attention to the regards of America's role rather

was meinst du hier mit regards? ...draws the attention to America's role...?

> than referring to the values of the Dream. America is here
> symbolized by “a new world”(l.9), which stands for
> strength and innovation. On top of that it becomes better
> than the old, Europae, maybe even more powerful. >However
> Bush doesn't describe America only as a powerful force, but
> as a “friend and liberator”(l.10). America claims to be
> the protector of the poor ones and seems to be always
> right. In addition to these abilities it'sit was able to >change
> from a “ a slave-holding society” (l.10 sq) to a “ a
> servant of freedom” (l.11). Packed with this qualities
> America, “a power”(l.10), went into the world “ to
> protect not to posses”. Bush refers to Adams' opinion of
> America's role – America as a leader. It's their duty to
> “ defend but not conquer”(l.11). It seems quite
> important for Bush to have a close look on Americas'
> speciality. Through By portraying Americas as a >brilliant
> nation he wants to make his citizens feel proud and make
> them concern themselves about America. To >sympathises with the most
> part of the audience  Bush stresses that “ the flawed and
> fallible people”(l.11), not those who are perfect are
> united by the American Dream, represented by “enduring
> ideals”(l.13).
>  The American Dream is not just one of many ideals, it's
> the “grandest”(l.13).It's becoming more and more
> important. Bush's choice of words to compare the Dream with >a
> promise has the reason to bind people to it. Since it's a

Das ist deutsches englisch. .....promise shall bind....promise it has to be kept.

> promise it has to be hold. This promise includes, that
> everyone belongs,
that everyone deserves a chance and >that
> no insignificant person ever was ever born. Bush >intends to show that
> people won't aren't be born successful, it >depends on hard work.
> These ideas are exactly those of the American Dream. Maybe
> he even wants them to work  harder than they do at the
> moment.
>
> In Bush's opinion it's the duty of the people to connect the
> Dream with their life and law. The Dream mutates from an
> ideal to a course of a whole nation. Over again Bush points
> out America's districtive feature. This time their faith

was ist denn districtive? Nächster Satz their  - auf wen bezieht sich das?

> and freedom is “ a seed upon the wind”(l.18), which is
> taking roots in many countries. In this part of the speech
> Bush only mentions the values of the American Dream- the
> democracy. Although the dream becomes an important basic of
> America some people “doubt the promise”(l.21), further
> more hinders hidden prejudice and circumstances of birth
> the people. These barriers  are what the Dream wants to
> change.

auch wieder deutsch englisch: Furthermore hidden prejudice and circumstances of birth hinder the people.

>  While before Bush declared the Dream to be an important
> part of Americas unity, he reduces the unity to the work of
> leaders and citizens. In contrast  Bush uses the values of
> the Dream “justice[,...]  opportunity”(l.27) in his
> solemn pledge. On the other hand he contradicts himself in
> line 28,  he said that the ideal is what leads them, but
> this time it is god who leads them. I think Bush only
> mentions God because many people are religious in America.
> In his point of view the meaning of being a citizen is
> based on the American dream ( cp.l 32), which makes the
> Dream a pillar of the state, moreover Bush justifies
> America with his ideals (cp. 34). Through this Bush tries
> to mobilizes the immigrants since the dream isn't
> inhibited, but an ideal everyone can belief after in.
> According to Bush his inauguration speech plays an
> important role. “Today is the start of a new
> commitment”(l.37), a commitment to life after the  
> national promise, the American Dream: “civility, courage,
> compassion and character”(l.35sq). Like Adams' Bush
> doubts, that such a promise is easy to fulfil, it demands
> good will and respect from everyone. The result will be a
> civil society, like as predicted in the dream . Why does >Bush
> only mention the American dream through symbols ? Perhaps
> it's because of Americas special position, a dream is not
> something serious and through the synonyms it becomes
> serious.
>  Just this country is able to lead the course of freedom,
> otherwise “ it will not be lead”(l.41). Once again Bush
> uses the American Dream, here referring to Americas role,
> to show Americas' power. This power is not a given, the
> people have to keep it. It's the choice of the people to
> choose the “ example of our fathers”(l.49) or not. Even

vielleicht besser ...of the people to live by the "example..."

> thought Bush gives the impression the Dream is most
> important, he lets them the people choose between >inspiration and
> condemnation.
>  
> The Dream is the cause of Americas engaging and America “
> will speak for the values that gave our nation birth”
> (l.60 sq) While the Dream was only used in connection with
> the citizens in the previous part of the speech now it's
> becoming  the reason of Americas development. After
> explaining very often the importance of the American Dream

Satzstellung: explaining the importance of....very often.

> Bush once again announces to “ lead by these
> principles”(l.86) For the first time in his speech he
> addresses oneself hisself personally to the >citizens. He points out
> that all citizens have to work together. These >citizens have to
> “ seek a common good beyond your their comfort”

>(l.89sq)

>  
> These citizens are special since they “ hold beliefs
> beyond ourtheirselves” (l.94). These beliefs are the values of
> the American Dream, courage, social justice, equality of
> opportunities and “[t]his story goes on”(l.106).
>  Bush uses the American dream in his speech to portray Americas >strength and specific role in the world. However that is not >everything. The Dream has the exercise to encourage people and bind

vielleicht besser: ...has the goal to encourage....
>them together. It is to remind the of history and catch >the attention of the listener.

>  
> Danke!!!!!
>  

Puh ist ja ein ganz schöner Text, ich hoffe mal ich hab soweit alles.
Grüße Christian

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The American Dream: metalschulze:
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 16:36 Do 04.03.2010
Autor: Lila131

Vielen Dank für ihren Kommentar!

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The American Dream: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 21:08 Do 04.03.2010
Autor: metalschulze

Gern geschehen, und du kannst hier ruhig (fast) jeden duzen...

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The American Dream: ohne Ausnahme
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 22:04 Do 04.03.2010
Autor: Loddar

Hallo Christian!


> Gern geschehen, und du kannst hier ruhig (fast) jeden duzen...

Streiche das "fast" ... ;-)


Gruß
Loddar


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The American Dream: Duzen
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 16:01 Fr 05.03.2010
Autor: Lila131

Ok. Ich mach das dann ab jetzt!

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