www.vorhilfe.de
- Förderverein -
Der Förderverein.

Gemeinnütziger Verein zur Finanzierung des Projekts Vorhilfe.de.
Hallo Gast!einloggen | registrieren ]
Startseite · Mitglieder · Impressum
Forenbaum
^ Forenbaum
Status VH e.V.
  Status Vereinsforum

Gezeigt werden alle Foren bis zur Tiefe 2

Navigation
 Startseite...
 Suchen
 Impressum
Das Projekt
Server und Internetanbindung werden durch Spenden finanziert.
Organisiert wird das Projekt von unserem Koordinatorenteam.
Hunderte Mitglieder helfen ehrenamtlich in unseren moderierten Foren.
Anbieter der Seite ist der gemeinnützige Verein "Vorhilfe.de e.V.".
Partnerseiten
Weitere Fächer:

Open Source FunktionenplotterFunkyPlot: Kostenloser und quelloffener Funktionenplotter für Linux und andere Betriebssysteme
Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Korrektur
Korrektur < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
Ansicht: [ geschachtelt ] | ^ Forum "Korrekturlesen"  | ^^ Alle Foren  | ^ Forenbaum  | Materialien

Korrektur: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 11:04 Sa 20.06.2009
Autor: Dinker

Hallo, ich wäre dankbar um Korrektur

He has a strong belief that someone will come to rescue the boys. Later insists that. He claims to establish a signal fire so that a ship which pass the island will see them. (sehr abgehakt)

Im Signalfeuer liegt der Ursprung des Konflikts zwischen Ralph und Jack.  Wie kann ich das sagen?


She finds it unbearable that children kill each other.
At the fire station Montag feels the increase mistrust from his superior and the mechanical hound.
He is shocked from the death of the old woman. But his wife stays numb and hasn’t any sympathize for Montag.
That’s all is too much for Montag. He catches fever. He reflects his occupation and realizes, that behind every books there is a person with (its) wishes and ideals. Short time later Beatty arrives and tries to persuade Montag from his activity and the society system with all his knowledge and his rhetorical ability.

In my opinion the author main messages are that we should be aware of our right to have our own life and are able to decide about ourselves. Another aspect is, that we should (of course) use the modern technology but employs it in a reasonable way and also maintain interhuman relationship and our connection to nature.

Danke
gruss DInker


        
Bezug
Korrektur: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 17:26 Sa 20.06.2009
Autor: Princess17

Hallo Dinker!

He strongly believes that someone will come to rescue the boys.
Later insists that. (-->Ich weiß nicht, was du sagen willst) Later, he insists upon this conviction.

He claims to establish a signal fire so that a ship which pass the island will see them. (sehr abgehakt)
He wants to establish a bonfire hoping that a ship which passes the island will see them.
Im Signalfeuer liegt der Ursprung des Konflikts zwischen Ralph und Jack.  Wie kann ich das sagen?
--> The bonfire can be seen as / considered the origin of the conflict between Ralph and Jack.


The idea that children kill each other is unbearable for her.
At the fire station Montag feels the increasing mistrust between his superior and the mechanical hound.
He is shocked by the death of the old woman. But his wife stays numb and doesn't show any sympathy for Montag.
All this is too much for Montag. He catches a fever.
Reflecting on his occupation, he realizes that behind every book there is a person with their own wishes and ideals.
A short time later, Beatty arrives and tries to persuade Montag of his activity and of the society system with all his knowledge and his rhetorical ability. (--> its wenn es das Wissen der Gesellschaft ist; her, wenn es Beatty's ist)

In my opinion the author's main messages are that we should be aware of our right to have our own life and that we are able to decide about ourselves. Another aspect is (kein Komma vor that) that we should (of course) use (kein Artikel) modern technology (wenn du die einzelnen bestimmten Techniken meinst, dann the modern techniques) but must apply it in a reasonable way in order to maintain interhuman relationship and our connection to nature.

Achte auf die verschiedenen Personen (z.B. he/she/it, s muss mit ;-) ).
Deine Sätze sind zu lang, du gerätst durcheinander und die Verben und Subjekte passen oft nicht mehr zusammen.

Liebe Grüße, Sabrina

Bezug
Ansicht: [ geschachtelt ] | ^ Forum "Korrekturlesen"  | ^^ Alle Foren  | ^ Forenbaum  | Materialien


^ Seitenanfang ^
ev.vorhilfe.de
[ Startseite | Mitglieder | Impressum ]