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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Korrektur
Korrektur < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Korrektur: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 20:39 Di 25.11.2008
Autor: zitrone

Hi,

ich schreibe Morgen einen Test und wollte daher einen Text zur Übung schreiben, damit ich in gewisser Hinsicht vorbereitet auf Morgen bin. Könnte mir daher jemand helfen?

Discrimination

We have people on the earth, who think they are better than anyone else. If someone is not like them, for exapmle they have a different skin colour or appearance, they are immediately seen as inferiors, who aren't worth to be treated nicely.
The wrongdoer, who is thinking in this way, will ignore, despise and reject the victim, because of prejudices or whatever. At first the person, who is bullying other persons, will feel highly and will never stop being impolite to the victim. The person, who is discriminated, have to hear racist remarks, though he doesn't really know what is happening. Furthermore the victim will become weak, than he is unsure , what he should do. However the hurtful racist comments won't stop and the person concerned will feel like a novelty, angry and uncomfortable. His self-confident will sink as long as his world view will become pessimistic. But there is a way to go out of this hell. If the discriminated person respect himself, he will find the courage to fight against the discrimination. Because of that they ought not to pretend nothing happened. They should try to talk to other people, who have the same problem, because together we are strong. Never adapt these acts from the wrongdoer to flee out. It will only become worse. Recognize yourself, get self-esteem and say to you, that is not your fault to be different than others. In all we all are humans with feelings.
Though many people can't understand it, how hurtful it is to despise someone, because you have prejudices. We can only do one thing: to continue fight against the discrimination and never loose the hope, that someday we will respect each others.

lg zitrone



        
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Korrektur: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 20:31 Mi 26.11.2008
Autor: reverend

Tut mir leid, ich bin gestern doch nicht mehr fertig geworden und musste wegen eines wichtigen Personalgesprächs (Personalie: ich selbst) dann ganz dringen ins Bett. Hoffentlich hilft Dir jetzt noch eine kleine Korrektur:

Hallo zitrone,
ich hätte Dir gern früher geschrieben, war aber noch mit anderen Dingen beschäftigt. Hoffentlich liest Du dies wenigstens noch morgen früh, so dass es Dir ein bisschen hilft. Ich habe aber nur die wesentlichen und groben Fehler markiert oder verbessert. Es gäbe noch ein paar mehr.

Vorab: , ist nicht so leicht zu erkennen und soll ein durchgestrichenes Komma darstellen. Davon hast Du viel zu viele. Englisch ist nicht Deutsch und hat eigene Zeichensetzungsregeln!

> Discrimination
>  
> We have There are people on the earth , who think they are better than
> anyone else. If someone is not like them, for example they
> have a different skin colour or appearance, they are
> immediately seen as inferiors , who aren't worth to be
> treated nicely.
>  The wrongdoer , who is thinking in this way , will ignore,
> despise and reject the victim , because of prejudices or
> whatever. At first (kann entfallen) the person , (who is) bullying other
> persons , will feel highly ???and will never stop being
> impolite to the victim. The discriminated person , who is discriminated,
> will have to hear racist remarks, though he doesn't really know
> what is happening. Furthermore the victim will become weak,
> than he is unsure, uncertain what he should to do. However, the hurtful
> racist comments won't stop and the person concerned will
> feel like a novelty ???, angry and uncomfortable. His
> self-confidencet will sink decrease, diminish, lessen, deteriorate, be affected as long as and his world view will
> turn/become pessimistic. But there is a way to go out of this
> hell. If the discriminated person respects himself has self-respect, he will
> find the courage to fight against the discrimination.
> Because of that they ought not to pretend nothing happened. was meinst Du?
> They should try to talk to other people , who have the same
> problem , because together we/they are strong. Never adapt these
> acts from the wrongdoer to flee out
Was soll das heißen?. It will only become
> worse. Recognize yourself, get self-esteem and say to yourself ,
> that is not your fault to be different than others. In all Taken/Seen altogether,
> we all are humans with feelings.
>  Though many people can't understand it, how hurtful it is
> to despise someone , because you have of prejudices. We can
> only do one thing: (to) continue the fight against the
> discrimination and never loose the lose hope, that someday we
> will respect each others.
>  
> lg zitrone
>  
>  


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